Turning Boys into Men

One of my favorite men got married this weekend. From my seat in the wedding (it was a shared officiating ceremony) I watched the stage with great pride. I was proud of the man that Chris had become but I was also proud of the other five men that stood up on that stage with him. Each of them grew up together and leaned into each other constantly to become the men that God called them to be.

It made me think: What did God do in their lives to make them men? As we grow in community together and shape each other what are the key factors that drive our desire to be more than dudes, or guys, but really become men?

1. Dedication to the core truth of the gospel.

These men are dedicated to the Truth of the world. They have chosen the ultimate man to follow and pursue. The one who said that He would lay down his life for his friends. The one who honored women just as much as he honored men. The one who obeyed his father even though he made the most difficult requests. The one who invited all who would call upon his name into his kingdom and family.

2. Dedication to being in relationship with other men.

The distractions of this world lead most boys into becoming guys. They don’t want to be chiseled into men; they want to follow their own path and follow their own pursuits. True men honor each other. True men pursue one another even during the most difficult of times. True men push each other to honor the women in their lives. True men confront each other with the sins in their life. True men celebrate and mourn the ups and downs of life. True men stand by one another through thick and thin.

3. Dedication to finding a Godly woman or at least the pursuit of a Godly woman.

One of the most precious gifts God has given man is woman. When God saw that Adam was alone he knew that he could not be complete without Eve. A man aspiring to live his life as a Godly man will find the greatest fulfillment in marriage. Marriage is one of the main vehicles used to drive a deeper understanding of our relationship to Christ (not the only one, just a powerful one.)

I have enjoyed watching these young men pursue their girlfriends/ wives. They seek to honor them. They seek to present them before Christ, exalted above themselves. They seek to know their wife and through that knowing, grow in their knowledge of Christ. They seek to work through the sin in their relationship that threatens to tear it apart. They seek to mentor other boys around them in how to honor a woman. They desire to create spiritual houses where men honor women, women honor men, and Christ is glorified.

4. Dedication to making decisions and standing by those decisions.

Godly men make decisions even when it is difficult. Godly men own the decisions that they make. Godly men do not let their wives face all of the decision making alone. Godly men do not dictate decisions made in singularity. Godly men make decisions in unison with their wives. Godly men sacrifice by working hard to accomplish the decisions made. Godly men never blame shift when decisions do not work out as planned. Godly men sacrifice by taking the consequences of bad decisions. Godly men always sacrifice to present their wives before Christ blameless.

These things do not happen in perfection. These do not always show themselves each day or week. Instead, these are attitudes, convictions. They are directional. They are the desire of the heart. This is a calling from God to men to be the same as Christ and treat the world as Christ treated the world (Eph. 5:22-33).