Monday, January 11, 2010

Infertility, Leukemia, & Jesus (Part 2)

... continuation of my first post "Infertility, Leukemia, & Jesus (Part 1)"

Another statement from the article that I learned about through infertility but understood practically from Adriane's Leukemia was this:

Marital stress.
All those decisions. What are we going to try? How long are we going to try it? You have expenses, a lot of disappointment, and a lot of stress. I was afraid that Phil resented me because I was the infertile one. Did he regret marrying me? That question came up one day. He said, “You’re not infertile. We are infertile.” His response was very comforting to me. Family members’ pain.

It doesn't matter who gets sick in a marriage. It doesn't matter whose body is broken the most because both are broken just in different ways. When Scripture teaches through marriage two become one it is not just a romantic statement to make everyone feel warm inside (although it is romantic). It really is true, there is no more I or me, and there is no more her and him, we are one. The whole purpose of marriage is to understand the idea of two becoming one (in our marriage, and in Christ).

When Adriane got sick with Leukemia (year five of being healed coming up fast) and I went home that first night after the diagnosis I remember going into our bedroom and I couldn't get into our bed. It didn't seem right for me to sleep there while she wasn't in the house. Now I am not saying when our wives go on a trip we can't sleep in our bed, by all means jump right in the middle of that bed and enjoy the space. It was more about knowing she wanted to be in that bed with me and it was suffering for her not to be in that bed and I needed to partake in that suffering with her. I didn't sleep in that bed for the next thirty days while she was in the hospital because I wanted to experience oneness with her and this was the best way I could do it at that time. Eventually, we got to the place where home was no longer just our house, it was wherever we could both be together (home, hospital, extended stay hotel).

I think a correlation between this and fasting could be argued. Fasting is suppose to be done with specific purposes in mind; searching for and hoping for clarity from God. Fasting is about denying yourself and then when you really feel the pain of that denial; talk with God, call out to him, and remember him.


susannah said...

i was just talking last week to matt about that season when we stayed at your house and how you didn't sleep in your bed until adriane got home- how we both always felt that was a powerful image/action.

Travis Marsh said...

I remember having all of you around those first several weeks. It was good to have someone in the room.